One of the great ironies about blogging is that, by definition, the times in a bloggers life when she has the most to write about are the times she has the least amount of time. And indeed, I’ve been mentally writing blog enties for two or three weeks now, and some of them are hilarious!
Tragically, the funniest ones are — again, by definition — the ones that I’ll never get written. In the meantime, here’s a mildly amusing conversation we had last week.
Mad Scientist skidded up to the table for dinner, just to take one look at his plate and announce he wasn’t hungry.
“You won’t get any snacks if you don’t eat dinner,” I warned. Yes, I am mean that way. Turning to Mars, I added, “He didn’t eat his lunch either. He’s going to come in here famished about 10 minutes after the dishes are washed.”Note how I cleverly avoid admitting who washed the dishes by the adroit use of the passive tense. Nice!
“Did he snack all afternoon?” Mars asked.
As if! Haven’t I already established that a child who skips a meal doesn’t get snacks in my kitchen? I assured him Mad Scientist had eaten nothing since the two bites of lunch he ingested before wandering off to build something in his basement laboratory.
Mars apparently didn’t believe me, and with good reason. “Did you eat anything after lunch?” he asked.
Mad Scientist’s eyes got big, and he nodded. Busted!
“What did you eat?” Mars said.
Mad Scientist nodded.
Mars thought for a minute. How, after all, is a parent supposed to respond? Especially a parent whose been known to sample the pet food himself, just to see what it tastes like. Finally he asked, with as nuetral a voice as he could manage, “What did it taste like?”
Mad Scientist cocked his head to one side. After some serious thought, he said, “Kind of like … dog food.”