One of the great ironies about blogging is that, by definition, the times in a bloggers life when she has the most to write about are the times she has the least amount of time. And indeed, I’ve been mentally writing blog enties for two or three weeks now, and some of them are hilarious!
Tragically, the funniest ones are — again, by definition — the ones that I’ll never get written. In the meantime, here’s a mildly amusing conversation we had last week.
Mad Scientist skidded up to the table for dinner, just to take one look at his plate and announce he wasn’t hungry.
“You won’t get any snacks if you don’t eat dinner,” I warned. Yes, I am mean that way. Turning to Mars, I added, “He didn’t eat his lunch either. He’s going to come in here famished about 10 minutes after the dishes are washed.”Note how I cleverly avoid admitting who washed the dishes by the adroit use of the passive tense. Nice!
“Did he snack all afternoon?” Mars asked.
As if! Haven’t I already established that a child who skips a meal doesn’t get snacks in my kitchen? I assured him Mad Scientist had eaten nothing since the two bites of lunch he ingested before wandering off to build something in his basement laboratory.
Mars apparently didn’t believe me, and with good reason. “Did you eat anything after lunch?” he asked.
Mad Scientist’s eyes got big, and he nodded. Busted!
“What did you eat?” Mars said.
“Cat food.”
“Cat food?”
Mad Scientist nodded.
Mars thought for a minute. How, after all, is a parent supposed to respond? Especially a parent whose been known to sample the pet food himself, just to see what it tastes like. Finally he asked, with as nuetral a voice as he could manage, “What did it taste like?”
Mad Scientist cocked his head to one side. After some serious thought, he said, “Kind of like … dog food.”
January 6, 2009 at 2:06 pm |
Yuck! When my son was in high school, we were eating dinner one night and he informed me, “I don’t like this, but I’m eating it because I’m hungry.” Of course, I thanked him for his thoughtful compliment.
January 6, 2009 at 3:54 pm |
So funny! Did he eat the dinner after all? My kids haven’t tried that yet, but then they are only 7 and 4.
January 6, 2009 at 4:23 pm |
ROFL! Bermuda, I think you handled that with grace and incredible tact, enough to win Mother of the Year. I’d have banished him from the table (and maybe let him take his late since he was still eating it).
Alyce: Nope. He was full. Never even asked for snacks all evening. I don’t even want to think about how much cat food he must have eaten.
January 6, 2009 at 4:44 pm |
Cat food??? ew. i dont know which i’d rather eat: cat food, or dog food. my dog thinks cat food is treats, and one of my cats always eats dog food…. interesting.
and, i know what you mean about thinking up the best stories and not being able to write them down at that time. i have this notebook in my bookbag because i kinda day-dream during school and think up stuff. *shrugs*
January 7, 2009 at 6:33 am |
Now, if he starts meowing, I’d get concerned. Or kicking up the “dirt” after a bathroom stop.
January 7, 2009 at 7:48 am |
Now that is one enterprising child. Maybe someone should come up with a line of Child Kibble products — all the flavor of pet food and no sugar added!
January 8, 2009 at 10:46 am |
Too funny, I’m always lol when visiting your blog!
Hope you can maintain your good humour through the floods, Katrina.