(P.S. Gotta love that kid! heehee)

And it makes me even madder if the person doing the complimenting about my weight loss is THIN. Or even just thinner than I. It makes me feel condescended to. It feels like they are saying, “Hey, you’re starting to look more like me! Maybe someday – if you starve yourself for years and years and years – you might look almost as good as I do!”

What does it say about our culture if a woman is considered attractive only when she is starving? I’m a nicer person when I’m NOT dieting. Starving and being denied foods that I love has a way of making me grumpy (funny how that works!) So it bugs me when people act like they like me better that way. It makes me think that they only care about how I look, not about my personality.

And when people notice my weight loss, it always makes me think about how aware they must have been when I was GAINING it. Which, to be realistic, could happen again in the future. So even positive comments about my weight make me feel nervous. What if I can’t maintain it? Will that person not like the way I look then? I would be so ashamed for them to see me if I gained any weight.

And what if you complimented someone on their weight loss, and it turned out to have been caused by a terrible illness or life experience? I have seen that happen, and the person who was complimented was offended by it. She was out having a good time at a restaurant and didn’t want to be reminded of her illness, which was terminal.

Because I feel this way and suppose that there are others who do also, I never comment about other people’s weight unless they bring up the subject themselves first. I think that making ANY kind of comments about someone’s weight is very rude, that it’s acceptable only if they are talking about it.

( Steps down from the podium)

Perhaps that’s why some people don’t say anything to you about it.

Raych: Every day, the children around me say hysterical things, and I think, “I really should blog that.” If I captured them all? I’d be blogging nothing else. Gotta love it!

Bunnyb: Thank you. And oh, my heck, YES. I feel fabulous, though I admit to developing the embarrassing habit of stopping to admire myself in every mirror or window reflection that I pass.

Mom: ROFL! I cannot believe you said that. One hour — almost exactly — before you wrote that, I happened to write a reply to this blog entry. In my comment, I told the author (Tess Gerritsen, who is AMAZING) about our Grammar War. I’m comment #27, but read #28 and #29 too. You must have ESP.

I really should blog about the Famous Grammar War. And post a recent pic.

You’re probably right. I know it’s awkward talking about weight, even when it’s a compliment (or intended to be).

I did run into someone recently that I haven’t seen for awhile (and who I know quite well). She took one look at me, and her chin dropped. “Wow! Look at you!” Before I could answer, she added, “How much have you lost?” And this was 10 pounds ago. So I *know* it’s noticeable.