Booty Call

Funny thing happened while I was dressing for church today.

I put on a skirt I haven’t worn in a couple of months. It’s a broomstick skirt, with a non-elastic, drawstring waist. I never adjust the drawstring.

Today, when I put it on, the knot in the drawstring hung about two inches below the waistband — which appears to mean I have lost four flipping inches in my waist. !!!!!

It’s probably accurate. I’m down 35 pounds since Dec. 3, and it’s come from the right places. My chest is down one dress size. My jeans are two sizes smaller (same brand, same style, same cut). And my waist has reduced even more than that.

I’ve been a little discouraged though because no one at church has even noticed. I think I look enormously different — even my face has a different shape. So I don’t know whether they’re just too polite to mention my weight, whether (as Mars says, but more diplomatically) that I was really, really skilled at hiding just how fat I really am, or whether (as I suspect) they don’t see me as a person, as Katrina, but only as The Organist and The Children’s Music Director. Regardless, I’ve been disappointed that no one has noticed.

I can’t say that any longer though. Today, as I was exiting the bathroom, one of the 5-year-old boys was entering the boys’ bathroom across the hall.

He looked at me (admiringly) and said, “Wow! Nice booty!” I SWEAR I am not making this up, nor have I embellished it the least little bit. This is a true AND accurate retelling.

My eyebrows shot up. “What did you say?”

“Wow! Nice booty,” he repeated.

This is a boy whose speech isn’t always clear, but the statement was pretty distinct. Still, to be safe, I said, “Did you just say, ‘Nice booty’?”

He nodded proudly. “Yep.”

There was only one response I could make. “Thank you,” I said, most sincerely.