Monday Book Giveaway (November 9, 2009)

Three books to give away, three winners! Congratulations to:

• Sue R.! As the first winner, Sue gets her first choice of the three: Grundish and Askew by Lance Carbuncle.
• Kat Bryan! Kat’s first choice was The Long Sleep by Stephen Mellor, so she gets her first choice too.
• Stephen! Stephen gets his second choice, Shapeshifter, The Demo Tapes: Year Two by Susan Helen Gottfried.

Congratulations, winners! If you’ll send your shipping information to katrina (at) stonoff (dot) com, I’ll get your books in the mail.

For next week, you can choose any book I’ve mentioned. It can be a book I’ve referred to casually on the blog (like that really big book you’ve all heard of that you cannot mention by name), a book I have given away (like Something Missing or Big Numbers), a book I’ve reviewed (like Mark of the Demon or the books listed here and here), or any book that appeared on one of my giveaway shelves.

Comment below with the name of the book you want, and come back next week to see if you’ve won. Contest open to anyone on the planet who has access to reliable mail service.

Now, the hat:

All Manner of Thing Shall Be Well

I actually wrote this entry on Monday, but I wanted to sit on it for a day or two before posting. Warning: treacly emotion, earnest religious views, and liberal politics follow. Please skip this entry if you find any of these offensive!

Anybody left?

Oh, well. It’s not the first time I talked to myself.

Yesterday was All Saints Day. I’ve never attended a church before that followed a liturgical calendar. I was raised in a fundamentalist Protestant church and have attended many others, but other than a Sunday here and there, I’ve never attended a “High Church.”

At least, not before now. We’ve been going to a branch of the Lutheran Church: ECLA Lutherans, to be specific. And yes, if you’re wondering, that IS the branch that recently voted to approve gay and lesbian clergy-people, and that’s one of the primary reasons we attend there.

Major disclaimer here: I have only a rudimentary understanding of the specific doctrines of the ECLA church. I know two things: 1) they generally believe what I believe, at least regarding the doctrines I consider most important, and 2) they don’t seem to mind if individuals vary widely in the specifics. Enough for me. But don’t take what I say next as anybody’s doctrine. This is just what *I* received from the service, through the filter of my own personal beliefs and experiences.

In the service yesterday, “saints” appeared to refer to everyone who has died. And indeed, the sermon seemed to imply that Christ died for all people and that all people will be saved (whether they like it or not — with liberal paraphrasing, the pastor compared the Holy Spirit to a donkey that will drag you back to the barn if you’re tied to him, no matter how big or stubborn you might be). Mars often accuses me of being a closet universalist because I just don’t buy the idea that a loving Father would condemn any one of his children to eternal torment, no matter how much they deserved it. So I appreciated the thought that my departed loved ones are with God (whatever he/she looks like), and intercede for me (whatever that means).

Grundish and Askew (Book Review)

Wondering if you’re the type of person who might enjoy Grundish and Askew, the latest novel by Dr. Rev. Lance Carbuncle?

Let me help. Just follow my handy Dichotomous Key to Movie Watchers. You remember how to use a dichotomous key, right? You read the question, determine which of the two answers applies to your specific specimen (you, in this particular case), and either correctly identify the Latin name of your particular specimen (you, again) or  jump down to the next question.

Katrina Stonoff’s Dichotomous Key to Movie Watchers

1. Do enjoy watching movies?

Yes ………. Go to Question 2.

No ………. Non-Movius Watcherus. (Whassa matter with you? I just hope you’re reading lots of books instead.)

2. Did you think the movie Pulp Fiction was extremely violent?

Yes ……….. Go to Question 3.

No ………… Movie Watcherus Who-Obviously-Didn’t-See-This-Filmus

3. Did you think the violence in Pulp Fiction was shocking?

Yes ……….. Go to Question 4.

No ………… Sickus Basterdus.

4. Did you think the violence in Pulp Fiction was just too explicit to be ever be justified?

Yes ……….. Compassionate Sensitivitus (probably of the variety really niceus guyus).

No ………… Go to Question 5.

5. Did you think Pulp Fiction was also funny?

Yes ……….. Go to Question 6.

No ………… Well-Adjusted Humanus with Healthy Sense of Humorus

6. Do you read novels?

Yes ……….. Twisted-Humorus Humanus.

No ……….. Illiterus Bozous (probably of the variety Americanus)

Monday Book Giveaway (November 2, 2009)

First things first: our new winner is … (insert virtual drum roll here) … Sheila! Sheila wins the book of her choice, and she picked Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins. Congrats, Sheila! If you’ll send your shipping information to katrina (at) stonoff (dot) com, I’ll get your book on its way to you.

For this week, I’m giving away three of my favorite self-published books. Self-publishing is quickly turning into an important alternative to traditional publishing. It’s hard to get a truly original book published through brick-and-mortar houses nowadays — in times of recession, the publishers want books they know will sell. So you can find some very interesting books if you’re willing to sift through the self-pubbed titles.

You may not have heard of these three books, but they are definitely worth reading. Each will go to a different winner. To enter, comment below with the names of the books you’re interested in (in order of priority please) before I close comments. Then come back next week to see if you’ve won. Contest is open to anyone, anywhere, who has access to reliable mail service.

Your choices are:

• The Long Sleep by Stephen Mellor. This novel is a suspenseful cross between science-fiction and a noir detective story. It’s a fascinating attempt to solve a crime committed thirty years before it was discovered, which actually occurred five years before and thousands of light years away. I blogged about this one.
• Shapeshifter, The Demo Tapes: Year Two by Susan Helen Gottfried. Shapeshifter follows the youth and early years of a fictional rock band. The stories originally appeared on the author’s blog as backstory to her novel Trevor’s Song (as yet unreleased), and provide a fascinating glimpse into the private lives of rock musicians, written by someone who knows. You won’t find better writing or more interesting, fully developed characters. Be aware though: this is not a novel, just a episodic series of short vignettes. If you like to read in three-minute spurts, that’s even better.
• Grundish and Askew by Lance Carbuncle (Note: I couldn’t find a description of the book on Carbuncle’s website, so the title links to Amazon, but you can purchase the book directly from the author by clicking on his name). This is a hilarious (if disgusting) book by the author of Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, etc. (which I reviewed on Amazon). Grundish & Askew is even more over-the-top, and absolutely hilarious. Hilarious!!! In a very dark way. More repulsive fictional characters than Grundish and Askew don’t exist, but you’ll love them anyway. The book is explicit, violent, full of rough language and (did I mention?) disgusting, so don’t ask for this one if you’re easily offended. G&A even pushed my limits in a spot of two. However, I was utterly caught up with the story and find myself still thinking about it weeks later. I’ll be posting a review of this one in a day or two, so come back for it, but it’s definitely a book I recommend (at least to mature reader — just don’t try this at home!).

No hat today. I’m furiously drafting a new novel (yep, it’s November). But I’m headed to Portland this afternoon and WILL take pictures of those fascinators I mentioned. So don’t miss next week!

(BTW, if you’re from the FTC? I purchased my review copy of The Long Sleep but the author gave me a copy to give away; the author of Grundish & Askew gave me a review copy but I purchased the giveaway copy, and I purchased both copies of Shapeshifter. But who cares???)

Gabe Who???

I’m sitting in the concert hall waiting for Loggins & Messina, and telling my sister about this great new band Keri Noble recommended.

Lights go down. Announcer announces …

“The Gabe Dixon Band!“

My sister says, “Isnt that the guy you were telling me about?”

Yep. Yep, it was. Gabe Dixon was opening for Loggins & Messina. And he was incredible!!!

But I liked best what Mars said.

“You know this band? Wow. You are really hip!”

P.S. I snagged one of his self-titled albums to give away. If you want it, comment below! I’ll close comments and choose a winner sometime next week. Hint: you DO want it!

P.P.S. I just realized the CD is autographed!!

P.P.S. If you’re from the FTC? I bought the album, so lay off!

Studying Novel Writing by Reading Novels

I’m blogging today over at Happy Endings, where I describe lessons about writing that I learned from reading The Virgin of Small Plains by Nancy Pickard.

Monday Book Giveaway (October 26, 2009)

Straight to the fun part — today’s winner is Mariska! Mariska wins both Tradd Street books: The Girl from Legare Street andThe House on Tradd Street (or if she’s already read Tradd Street, she can substitute for another of Karen White’s books). Congratulations! Please send me your shipping information, and I’ll get your books in the mail. (P.S. You are going to LOVE them! Legare Street is even better than Tradd Street.)

For next week, you can pick your prize: any book! Well, any book that’s readily available for $25 or less (I’ll cover the shipping), which includes most books.

To enter, comment below before I close comments (Mondayish) and come back next week to see if you won. That’s it! Contest open to anyone on the planet who has access to reliable mail service, even if you shared a room with me as a child (Hi, Spark!) or won today (Hi, Mariska!).

Now, the hat from which I picked Mariska’s name (Hat #58):

Yes, I did. I bought another hat. It was in a basket with several other kittens hats, just mewling. I couldn’t resist.

This is another Amy Downs hat from Hubbub. It’s woven from a nubby wool that almost looks felted, though it’s not. It’s very warm, especially if I pull it over my ears.

Worn like this, it looks like a cloche, though cloche hats usually have more structure. This one is completely crushable — I can stuff it into my coat pocket and pull it out whenever I want.

But best of all, you can get a bunch of different looks simply by moving it around and playing with the brim and crown. Don’t believe me? Take the jump!

Seattle Opera

La Traviata was glorious!! Nuccia Focile was just stunning, musically and emotionally. As was Alfredo’s father (Charles Taylor).

Also, I so could have been a courtesan! Just sayin’.

More later.

Sent from my iPhone

Men at Urinals

Did you know that men hold conversations while they’re standing at the urinals?

Me neither. And I said so when Mars casually mentioned a conversation that took place there.

His reply? “We’re old men. It takes awhile. We have to have *something* to do while we wait.”

You’re welcome. I knew you’d want to know.

And here I thought I was being too intimate when I contined a conversation with a girlfriend safely locked in the neighoring stall.

Mars in the Kitchen

Our family participates in Community-Supported Agriculture. Well, sort of. Our farmer doesn’t use the model where you pay in advance, but she does bring us a box of assorted vegetables every week, all organic and just picked that morning. It’s heaven!

Sometimes, they aren’t vegetables we’d buy regularly, and we have to figure out how to use them. Daikon radishes, for instance, are really good grated with a little vinegar. And tomatillos are usually used for salsa verde, though they can also be roasted, grilled or sautéed.

This week, we got a Brussel Sprouts Stick. Yes, I said stick, and it’s a stick worthy of the name. It’s three-feet long, and you can wield it like a broadsword. Ask me how I know.

Does this look like alien food or what?

I have heard that if you get Brussel Sprouts small and fresh enough, they are not bitter, so we were eager to taste them. Mars steamed some for dinner the other night. I thought they were fantastic, but then, I like Brussel Sprouts. Mars? Thought they were bitter. I told him to try carmelizing them next time, a la Ristorante Bartolotta.

Another night it was cold and soggy out, so he decided to make beef vegetable stew with a couple of sirloin steaks and whatever vegetables we needed to use up. The stew was delicious, and really hit the spot on that miserable night.

But we didn’t fully appreciate the affects of ingesting copious amounts of purple cabbage and beets until the next morning.

Note to self: if you make this again, try to remember not to freak out when you move your bowels the next day. Vegetable dye is natural, non-toxic and non-hazardous, and the affect will clear up on its own.

Oh, and you might want to wear dark undies for a day or two.