Monday Book Giveaway (November 23, 2009)

First, today’s winner: Carol M.! Of all the books I’ve mentioned, she chose The House on Tradd Street by Karen White. Congrats, Carol! If you’ll send your shipping information to katrina (at) stonoff (dot) com, I’ll get your book in the mail.

Now for next week, as promised: your choice, two winners! Comment below with the name of any book you want* and come back next week to see if you’ve won. These are my favorite weeks because we all hear about great new books. So start commenting! And remember, I’ll choose two winners.

Contest open to anyone on the planet who has access to reliable mail service.

Now, the hat (Fascinator #2):

Traditionally, fascinators are whimsical, frou-frou pieces made of feathers and lace, so I’m not sure this would technically be called a fascinator. It’s made of resin or acrylic and looks almost like metal.

I do like it though. I like how the thin headband mostly disappears into my hair, putting the visual emphasis on the ornament itself. And I love that the designer chose such strong colors and lines to make a rose (traditionally soft, delicate, and feminine).

Kinda like how the gold and black looks a little startling against my silver and black hair.

*Any book readily available for $25 or less; I’ll cover the shipping.

My Desert Hermitage

I thought I’d post a quick pic of my room, mostly so my family can picture where I am.

I love my room (though I check very carefully for scorpions every time I come in or get out of bed, and I practically strip my bed before I get it into it).

I love the murals on the wall. I love the down comfortor and suede duvet. I love the open airiness of it. I love the lighting. I love that I’m alone in it. I love that I have a table.

And I love love LOVE that it is utterly, completely silent. I’ll hear a car drive past once or twice a day, and that’s it.

Last night, several of us went out to see the Leonid meteor showers. Peak was the night before, but we saw several that burned a long green ribbon across the sky. Quite spectacular in the sky filled with stars. The stars above us, unblocked by light pollution, were so complex that I had the strong sense I was standing under a Palo Verde tree. I could almost see the lines of branches between the stars.

Today I saw a cactus wren and a little family of quail. Gambel’s quail are adorable. The male walks like a stuffy, portly man in a tuxedo whose tie is too tight. His head bobs forward and back. Quite delightful to see these old, familiar bird friends I haven’t seen in years.

I’d forgotten how much I love the desert.

On Hiatus

I’m in Oracle, Arizona, on a weeklong writers retreat. My goal is to get within sight of a final, proofreading run at East of Jesus.

That’s the good news. The bad news is that I won’t be posting much here or anywhere. Because I am focused, baby!

Also because I can neither make phone calls nor send mail (though I can receive mail. Weird). If you must, you can reach me on Facebook.

The Monday Book Giveaway will not take place this week either. Sorry! I’ll make it up to you next week by giving away TWO books, your choice. And if you haven’t yet answered last week’s contest … what are you waiting for???!

When I come up for air, I’ll have lots to tell you: the ranch is amazing! And two of the people here were surprised by a javelina. And there was a scorpion in my room (don’t click if you’re faint of heart!). But it’ll have to wait. I have a book to finish!

P.S. Will someone please telephone or email Mars and tell him I arrived safely? Also tell him I miss him, especially last night when I had to crawl into a very cold bed alone. And give him a kiss for me too, will ya? A nice, juicy one? Thanks!

Never Underestimate Your Children

As you probably know, Girly Girl has Down syndrome. Part of our routine with the school district includes testing every three years to see if she is still eligible for special ed.

…

 

Naaaa, I’m not even going to touch that one. It’s just too easy.

 

…

 

OK, I am going to touch it. I cannot resist. I know this is utterly obvious to everyone except the federal government, but I just have to say it anyway … IF????! We have to test to see IF she’s going to be eligible??? You do know she has Down syndrome, right? You do know what that means, right? What, you think she’s going to be cured? Every single cell in her body will magically lose its extra chromosome??

OK. Flabbergasted tirade over. Thanks for indulging me. I now return you to your regularly scheduled program, the one in which I wax eloquent over my prodigy of a child.

 

…

 

So. We met today with the school psychologist to go over the results of her evaluation. Some of it was surprising. For instance, her special ed teacher reports that she is often unhappy, which is exactly opposite of what we’re seeing. From our perspective, she loves middle school! Most of it was exactly what we expected. She’s extremely delayed in math, for example, as low as First Grade in one area.

Then we got to her reading scores. Guess what grade level she’s reading at! Go ahead, guess! I’ll give you a clue: remember the spelling bee?

Oh, you’ll never guess, not in a million years. I’ll just tell you. But just for perspective, she’s in Sixth Grade, and she’s mentally disabled. Her measured I.Q. is 50-something, which makes her mildly mentally retarded (I actually don’t think the 50-something is accurate, but I’ll agree that she’s mildly mentally retarded).

But her reading level? 10.9. Yes, seriously. 10.9. Comparable to the average sophomore in high school. Granted her comprehension is much lower, but even that is 7.0.

Frankly, I didn’t believe it, and the psychologist must not have either because he said, “I doublechecked the scoring, and it’s right.”

Woot! Who cares about math! Mommy writes novels, and in my book, the girl is a prodigy.

Oddities in the Sky

We’re full into winter weather, which around here means blustery, windy, wet days that hover around 40 degrees Fahrenheit (hey, it counts as cold, especially when the wind drives frigid water droplets down the neck of your jacket).

The other day, I was driving home when I noticed an odd bank of clouds to the west. The entire sky was gray and overcast (what else is new?), but in one place, there was a shelf of clouds that were black and completely opaque, hanging maybe 20 feet in the air, 30 max. There was a clear line both below the cloud (hence the term “shelf”) and on the eastern leading edge. As we approached it, it felt like we driving into a garage, both because of the change in light and the sense of a roof overhead.

As we drove under it, though, I noticed something odd: an enormous flock of something flying right at the edge of the cloud. Tens of thousands of tiny black creatures making a cloud of their own. I looked closer and realized the flight was unusual — more fluttery than normal.

I think they were bats, driven from their sleeping places by the encroaching darkness and probably confused by the shocking emergence into light.

Gabe Dixon Winner!

Almost forgot to do this! Between furiously adding words to my Nano and trying to get ready for a weeklong writers retreat in sunny Oracle, I’m dropping balls right and left.

But here it is: one lucky winner of a signed copy of Gabe Dixon’s CD, and the winner is … Karen K.! Congratulations, Karen! If you’ll send your shipping information to katrina (at) stonoff (dot) com, I’ll get your CD in the mail.

Oh, and Rene? I think I have to finally admit that you were right: you never win anything. I am so sorry for you, though I still look forward to Books Over Breakfast anytime your lucky sister or one of your lucky friends wins instead.

Monday Book Giveaway (November 9, 2009)

Three books to give away, three winners! Congratulations to:

• Sue R.! As the first winner, Sue gets her first choice of the three: Grundish and Askew by Lance Carbuncle.
• Kat Bryan! Kat’s first choice was The Long Sleep by Stephen Mellor, so she gets her first choice too.
• Stephen! Stephen gets his second choice, Shapeshifter, The Demo Tapes: Year Two by Susan Helen Gottfried.

Congratulations, winners! If you’ll send your shipping information to katrina (at) stonoff (dot) com, I’ll get your books in the mail.

For next week, you can choose any book I’ve mentioned. It can be a book I’ve referred to casually on the blog (like that really big book you’ve all heard of that you cannot mention by name), a book I have given away (like Something Missing or Big Numbers), a book I’ve reviewed (like Mark of the Demon or the books listed here and here), or any book that appeared on one of my giveaway shelves.

Comment below with the name of the book you want, and come back next week to see if you’ve won. Contest open to anyone on the planet who has access to reliable mail service.

Now, the hat:

All Manner of Thing Shall Be Well

I actually wrote this entry on Monday, but I wanted to sit on it for a day or two before posting. Warning: treacly emotion, earnest religious views, and liberal politics follow. Please skip this entry if you find any of these offensive!

Anybody left?

Oh, well. It’s not the first time I talked to myself.

Yesterday was All Saints Day. I’ve never attended a church before that followed a liturgical calendar. I was raised in a fundamentalist Protestant church and have attended many others, but other than a Sunday here and there, I’ve never attended a “High Church.”

At least, not before now. We’ve been going to a branch of the Lutheran Church: ECLA Lutherans, to be specific. And yes, if you’re wondering, that IS the branch that recently voted to approve gay and lesbian clergy-people, and that’s one of the primary reasons we attend there.

Major disclaimer here: I have only a rudimentary understanding of the specific doctrines of the ECLA church. I know two things: 1) they generally believe what I believe, at least regarding the doctrines I consider most important, and 2) they don’t seem to mind if individuals vary widely in the specifics. Enough for me. But don’t take what I say next as anybody’s doctrine. This is just what *I* received from the service, through the filter of my own personal beliefs and experiences.

In the service yesterday, “saints” appeared to refer to everyone who has died. And indeed, the sermon seemed to imply that Christ died for all people and that all people will be saved (whether they like it or not — with liberal paraphrasing, the pastor compared the Holy Spirit to a donkey that will drag you back to the barn if you’re tied to him, no matter how big or stubborn you might be). Mars often accuses me of being a closet universalist because I just don’t buy the idea that a loving Father would condemn any one of his children to eternal torment, no matter how much they deserved it. So I appreciated the thought that my departed loved ones are with God (whatever he/she looks like), and intercede for me (whatever that means).

Grundish and Askew (Book Review)

Wondering if you’re the type of person who might enjoy Grundish and Askew, the latest novel by Dr. Rev. Lance Carbuncle?

Let me help. Just follow my handy Dichotomous Key to Movie Watchers. You remember how to use a dichotomous key, right? You read the question, determine which of the two answers applies to your specific specimen (you, in this particular case), and either correctly identify the Latin name of your particular specimen (you, again) or  jump down to the next question.

Katrina Stonoff’s Dichotomous Key to Movie Watchers

1. Do enjoy watching movies?

Yes ………. Go to Question 2.

No ………. Non-Movius Watcherus. (Whassa matter with you? I just hope you’re reading lots of books instead.)

2. Did you think the movie Pulp Fiction was extremely violent?

Yes ……….. Go to Question 3.

No ………… Movie Watcherus Who-Obviously-Didn’t-See-This-Filmus

3. Did you think the violence in Pulp Fiction was shocking?

Yes ……….. Go to Question 4.

No ………… Sickus Basterdus.

4. Did you think the violence in Pulp Fiction was just too explicit to be ever be justified?

Yes ……….. Compassionate Sensitivitus (probably of the variety really niceus guyus).

No ………… Go to Question 5.

5. Did you think Pulp Fiction was also funny?

Yes ……….. Go to Question 6.

No ………… Well-Adjusted Humanus with Healthy Sense of Humorus

6. Do you read novels?

Yes ……….. Twisted-Humorus Humanus.

No ……….. Illiterus Bozous (probably of the variety Americanus)

Monday Book Giveaway (November 2, 2009)

First things first: our new winner is … (insert virtual drum roll here) … Sheila! Sheila wins the book of her choice, and she picked Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins. Congrats, Sheila! If you’ll send your shipping information to katrina (at) stonoff (dot) com, I’ll get your book on its way to you.

For this week, I’m giving away three of my favorite self-published books. Self-publishing is quickly turning into an important alternative to traditional publishing. It’s hard to get a truly original book published through brick-and-mortar houses nowadays — in times of recession, the publishers want books they know will sell. So you can find some very interesting books if you’re willing to sift through the self-pubbed titles.

You may not have heard of these three books, but they are definitely worth reading. Each will go to a different winner. To enter, comment below with the names of the books you’re interested in (in order of priority please) before I close comments. Then come back next week to see if you’ve won. Contest is open to anyone, anywhere, who has access to reliable mail service.

Your choices are:

• The Long Sleep by Stephen Mellor. This novel is a suspenseful cross between science-fiction and a noir detective story. It’s a fascinating attempt to solve a crime committed thirty years before it was discovered, which actually occurred five years before and thousands of light years away. I blogged about this one.
• Shapeshifter, The Demo Tapes: Year Two by Susan Helen Gottfried. Shapeshifter follows the youth and early years of a fictional rock band. The stories originally appeared on the author’s blog as backstory to her novel Trevor’s Song (as yet unreleased), and provide a fascinating glimpse into the private lives of rock musicians, written by someone who knows. You won’t find better writing or more interesting, fully developed characters. Be aware though: this is not a novel, just a episodic series of short vignettes. If you like to read in three-minute spurts, that’s even better.
• Grundish and Askew by Lance Carbuncle (Note: I couldn’t find a description of the book on Carbuncle’s website, so the title links to Amazon, but you can purchase the book directly from the author by clicking on his name). This is a hilarious (if disgusting) book by the author of Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, etc. (which I reviewed on Amazon). Grundish & Askew is even more over-the-top, and absolutely hilarious. Hilarious!!! In a very dark way. More repulsive fictional characters than Grundish and Askew don’t exist, but you’ll love them anyway. The book is explicit, violent, full of rough language and (did I mention?) disgusting, so don’t ask for this one if you’re easily offended. G&A even pushed my limits in a spot of two. However, I was utterly caught up with the story and find myself still thinking about it weeks later. I’ll be posting a review of this one in a day or two, so come back for it, but it’s definitely a book I recommend (at least to mature reader — just don’t try this at home!).

No hat today. I’m furiously drafting a new novel (yep, it’s November). But I’m headed to Portland this afternoon and WILL take pictures of those fascinators I mentioned. So don’t miss next week!

(BTW, if you’re from the FTC? I purchased my review copy of The Long Sleep but the author gave me a copy to give away; the author of Grundish & Askew gave me a review copy but I purchased the giveaway copy, and I purchased both copies of Shapeshifter. But who cares???)